oh goodness 1 month since I posted ....eeeeek

I have been swamped with photography, which has been wonderful, and just so busy with the day to day stuff that I hadent realized it had been so long since my last post. I also began volunteering with an org called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep - which offers photography to families dealing with perinatal or early infant loss. So I have done a couple of sessions for them. Oddly, though it is heartbreaking, it offers me comfort and is a form of therapy for me. Getting through Conner's death is still a struggle sometimes, but volunteering makes me feel good and like his life continues through me. Thanksgiving marked 4 years since his death. Such a hard reality that so much time has gone by since I have held my son.

Avery is developing quite a personality...quite the firecracker she is!!! She is pretty consistently putting together 2-3 words which is amazing. She is totally obsessed with Mickey and Minnie mouse and almost refuses to wear anything not involving them. So opinionated for 2!

Brenden is doing great in school. Reading so well, and now playing basketball.

We are so ready for Christmas!

just a quick picture share :)

since the last post had no pictures :)

A blog post with no pictures....

I know it's unheard of for me to post without adding pictures. I have been so busy, I havent shot my own kids in almost 2 weeks....eeek! Carl and I went to Cleveland for the Cure Tay-Sachs event this weekend. What a great event! They showed the documentary we filmed early in the year - it was so amazing!

Avery is a cray lady! The conversation goes like this:

Me: "Avery, put your glasses on"

Avery: "no"

Me: "Do you remember what the doctor said?"

Avery: "No more monkey's jumping on the bed" (Really it was "no no more .....bed" - but thats what she meant"

Brenden starts basketball this week - he is growing like the jolly green giant. He has shot up an inch and a half since June. We had to put him in all size 8's already :)

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is almost here!

finally some new pictures of Brenden to share!

Fall is here

Plenty of pictures of Avery these days which Im so excited about...now I have to get some of Brenden. Avery had her 2 year check up yesterday (yes - 2 mos late ) she is 75% for height and 30% for weight. She has grown 2 inches since her last appointment and gained 3 pounds! Yeah Avery! She was pleased with her growth and development including speech! She is doing so well, and the speech is growing every day.

Brenden's last game he had 2 fumble recoveries and 1 sack! He is such a great football player and he loves playing! We are so excited for him! Gig game tomorrow and if they win again, looks like we will make the playoffs!

Avery 2 years 1 month

A little mini session with Av

Avery is now saying so many new words and a couple days ago started saying her own name!!! She says "name....Avery.... I two" So cute!

5 year anniv of Diagnosis Day

I wish I could accurately put into words the feelings that this day brings. It's rare that I get a chance to sit and think about my feelings. Today I have found several moments where I am getting lost in Conner's memory. 5 years ago today I learned that Conner had Tay-Sachs. 5 years ago today my life drastically changed and it will never be the same again.

I am truly emotionally spent and all I can say is that I love and miss Conner as much as ever. I miss hearing him, holding him, and just being with him. I struggle to understand how I couldve lost something so precious. I am broken hearted, and I suppose part of my heart will always be broken. Everyday I carry this pain with me, and though I dont often show it or talk about it, it is there with me every day. Everyday. Days like today, are just a little harder.

Football

Football is in full swing and Brenden is having a great time, despite the 0-3 record so far :) He has earned the nickname "Tough Hopf", though he likes to call himself the "Brendenator" - lol

Avery is doing well and her speech just keeps getting better! So far the words in her vocabulary are: dog, mama, dada, down, no, stroller, waffle, shoes, towel, shovel, socks, top, diaper, fruit snacks, snack, soda, pee pee, poop, wii, brother, book, yellow, shower, out, up, thank you, football, birthday, tucker, lexi, Brenden, book, night night, blue, purple, stop, barbie, baby, hot dog, birthday, happy, eyes, thumb, hiney, up, hair, bow, bye bye, hello, ...oh goodness, Im sure I leaving some out and she is repeating just about everything :)

Phew....where does the time go?

Avery and I made a quick trip to OC to clear off the deck for the approaching hurricane and had a day and a half of great beach weather and a much more cooperative photo shoot! She is doing well with not thumb sucking and she is exploding in speech. New words every single day! She even said happy birthday daddy or closer to "hap bur day da da" the absolute cutest!

Brenden is now an official second grader and so far.....well the verdict is still out. He is not a fan of all the "work". Football is going great and we are looking forward to the big game Saturday! The Brendenator will be bringing the pain......his words.... not mine - lol

Happy birthday Avery!!!!!

I cant believe Avery is 2!!!! How the time has flown by! She came into this world 2 years ago - in such a fragile state. I am so thankful that she has thrived and grown into the terrible two's! She is staying new words, doing new things, and getting into all kinds of trouble.

Took the kids to the dentist this past week and got all loaded up with great news..... NOT! Brenden has 4 cavities :( And Avery has to stop sucking her thumb immediatly. Her teeth are starting to stick out and he said if she doesnt stop - her lower jab will not grow properly. UHG!!! Soooooooo - she has done pretty well, we tried a few things! For now she has to wear mittens taped at the wrist at night - we tried just taping up her thumb and wrapping it all around the wrist, but the cleaver little monster just takes the tape off :) We ordered her stuff that we put on the thumb, but it has not come yet. Fun times..... :)

First football game next Saturday!!!!!!! Brenden had a great scrimmage yesterday!!!

10 days until Avery's 2!!!

Possibly our last weekend at the beach for a while. Football is taking all of our free time!!! Took Avery out thursday night at the beach for her birthday shoot....this is probably the only usable shot she gave me....what a toughie!

Carl is head coaching Brenden's team - we are excited for the both of them and looking forward to the first scrimmage this weekend!!!

Avery added a few words to her vocabulary this weekend:

dumb dog "duh doo"

towel

shovel

purple

apple

Oh, and we are in need of a new jogging stroller - when I got home from the beach today - I forgot that the stroller was tied to the roof of my car - I pulled straight into the garage and tore the stroller into pieces and broke the garage door. One of my finer moments no doubt. Garage door is fixed - thank goodness the repair people came right over! The stroller is a total loss - scrap metal.....argh!

look who's talking?

It would seem that we are in the midst of a talking toddler. She is speaking more and more everyday - trying new words and all. Some things she doesnt articulate very well, but she does try! I am teaching her to say "Im two" - right now, she holds one finger up and says "I do". She has added a ton of words to her vocabulary this week alone. Some of which are

Boat

Diaper

More

Airplane (though it sounds very little like airplane)

Waffle

Shoe

She has another eval with infant and toddlers next week - mainly regarding speech - so we will see what they have to say - but to me it looks like she is following in big Bro's footsteps and waiting until 2 to talk!

The glasses are still a battle, as you can she she likes to wear them like sunglasses....on top of her head like mommy :)

home from the beach, and too much to do!

Got home last night, Avery has a fever, and our yard has been totally taken over by weeds.....argh! Welcome back to reality! At least I have some great pics to share! Thanks to Katherine for coming to OC to take our family pictures! I cant remember the last time we had a family photo :)